Deadly Spinach
by ParticularlyChimerical
Summary: Ron gave her a hopeful look; but gave up as his wife sat back down at the other end of the table and started eating. He stared at the leafy, green glob of doom. So this must be the deadly spinach...   Ron/Hermione One-Shot For November's TWIN EXCHANGE!


Alright. Here I go. My first ever entry for a Twin Exchange Monthly... thing! Gonna try my best to come up with something somewhat decent! Yeah, I'm getting myself a Beta Reader for this... Woof! ***wipes sweat off forehead*** Look at me! Already nervous and I havent even begun to actually write! Okay, Im talking (typing) to much over here! Im starting now! Yeah, Here I go! Im gonna do it! RIGHT NOW. Woosh... Yeah.. Here I go! I already said here I go like three times not counting the one I said in this sentence! Man... I need to start now! Im gonna do it! One... last... time! _HERE I GOOOO!_ Wish. Me. LUCK! :)

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><p><strong>Deadly Spinach <strong>

Prompt: First Time

Pairing: Ron/Hermione

Quote: "Water, I need water!"

**Summary Thing:** Ron gave her a hopeful look; but gave up as his wife sat back down at the other end of the table and started eating. He stared at the leafy, green glob of doom. _So this must be the deadly spinach..._

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><p><em>Crunch. Crunch. Snap. Slurp.<em>

Hermione sat, looking irritably as the redhead, freckled face boy infront of her attacked his chicken leg vivaciously. She wrinkled her nose in disgust when he slapped down the leg into some barbeque sauce and nearly swallowed it whole. She grimaced as he finished the one he was on, then moved his hands over to grab two more. She shook her head, deliberating about wether she should continue to eat, or run off to the bathroom to do something more... _unpleasant._

"Seriously Ronald, Do you _ever_ stop eating?" Hermione inquired, pushing her mash potatoes aside. She glowered at him as he gave a confined shrug and continued to shove food down his throat.

He gave a big swallow, then burped. "You know Hermione..." He began, pointing a new peice of chicken at her lazily. "I thought you'd be use to the way I ate by now. We _have_ been friends for the past... I dunno... thirteen years, I suppose."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Yes, I know Ron... but I thought that by now you would get over your ridiculous eating habits! Especially since were _married_ now! You need to set a good example for our daughter! Maybe we need to get you on a diet..." She got up from the table and picked up a bowl green. Ron didn't like the look of it, not one bit. She grabbed some tongs and smacked a huge pile of spinach onto his plate.

He gaped at it, then looked back to her; all glowing lost from his eyes. "B-but... the... our kid... Rose... She isn't even old enough to realize what horrible habits I have! She's barely even one!"

Hermione smiled. "Then nows the perfect time to start eating healthier!"

Ron gave her a hopeful look; but gave up as his wife sat back down at the other end of the table and started eating. He stared at the leafy, green glob of doom... _So this must be the deadly spinach._ Hermione made a little huffing noise. He looked up to see her gesturing to his fork. He frowned, picked up the shiney siverware, and poked up a single piece of spinach. _No,_ he thought, while eyeing it with a wince, _I refuse to give in to this type of treatment! Even if she does scare me! I am a man! I am the supreme ruler! And.. and.. I don't want to eat this!_ He slammed his fork onto the table and folded his arms over his chest.

"What's wrong, Ron?" Hermione asked, with a hint of a smirk.

He glared at her for five seconds before giving in. "I don't wanna eat this! Its so unappealing!" He whined, stamping his feet on the ground like he used to with his mother.

She laughed. "Oh, Ron. Come on! You might like it! You might even love it! You won't know until you've tried. Just try it! It would mean a lot to me!"

He looked up at her frowning. "Oh, I don't know..."

She folded her hands together. "_Please... _D'you think you could do it for me Ron, for your wife..."

He frowned even more. She was getting to him. He couldn't let her get to him. "I really don't wanna..."

"Come on, Ronald!" She exclaimed playfully. She clapped her hands together and started to cheer. "Ron! Ron! Ron!" He looked at her and shook his head. Hermione tried again. He refused. She asked him in every way she could think of, but he still wouldn't crack. She sighed. _Looks like I'll have to do it the old-fashion way... _

She gave him a stern look. "Ronald Bilius Weasley!" She said, a sudden violence ringing in her voice. "If you do not eat that spinach I will MAKE you! You've got five seconds!"

Ron gave a frightened face. He liked her cheering him on much more better then getting yelled at. She started counting backwards, putting down a finger at a time.

"5." He looked away from her eagerly.

"4." He gave a small gulp, but didn't give in.

"3." Alright, now he was a bit nervous... he had to stay strong.

"2." Bloody Hell, this wasn't going to end well.

"**1**" He shot back round and dunked just incase she was going to shoot him a curse.

"Alright, Alright! I'll do it! Just don't hurt me!" He shouted, giving in, while mumbling some words after under his breath.

"What was that?" She questioned. Hermione knew she had finally won, and was proud of it no doubt. Her husband mumbled 'nothing' then picked up his fork again. "Good, now put it in your mouth..."

Ron gave the spinach another look, then glanced up at Hermione with a light-hearted grin. _Just do it. Its just a pie__ce of a plant... not like it'll blow your head off._ He lifted the fork onto his lips and shuddered. It smelled like nothing. Just a plain ol' leaf. **Gross.**

"Good, Good. Now open your mouth."

He did as she said.

"Put the spinach _IN_ your mouth..."

He hesitated, but did as told; clamping his mouth shut so he didn't spit it back out... resulting in Hermione jinxing his legs until they melted like butter.

"Chew Ronald, Chew. – That's it. – Very good job! Not that bad, eh?"

Ron chewed slowly, his eyes slammed shut. Not that bad? Not that _BAD?_ Who was that women kidding? This was worse then bad! This was... this was tourture! This was worse than any jinxes he ever recieved! Worse then barfing out slugs... worse then nearly dying from being poisened... Hell, worse then being _crucified_!

"Ron... Ron... Alright dear... You have to swallow... just swallow now... Nearly there."

He shook his head. He couldn't do it. He couldn't swallow this peice of lint. He just couldn't. "MmmMmm! Wun Bo it Herman!" That was the only thing he could get out without showing too much of the food in his mouth.

"Oh Ron... Just swallow and it will be over with!" Hermione spat out. Ron turned to her and gave her a gloomy look, before giving a single gulp. Something went wrong however, because in a few seconds he was sprawling out on the floor waving his arms around in madness.

"Waber!" He coughed out. "Meebing waber!"

Hermione screamed and ran by his side. "Ron what's going on!" He put his hands around his throat in agony. Hermione Jane Granger was never any good in a crisis, this she knew; but she had to figure out what was wrong. "Oh, Ronald! What the hell is happening?"

He coughed. "WATER! I need WATER!"

She understood now. He had been choking on the little piece of spinach. She gave herself a small mental slap in the head and pulled out her wand. "_Accio_ cup!" A cup went zooming off the table into her hands. " – Wow, wait. This is _my_ cup!" Ron waved his arms around some more and coughed multiple times. "Oh fine, use my favorite cup for your choking needs." She held the cup out and gently tapped it. "_Aguamenti_." It filled to the brim. Hermione held up Ron's head and poured the water in his mouth quickly. He coughed and splurred, but then shot up as quick as lightening and yanked the cup out of Hermione's hands.

He started drinking wildly, gulping until every last drop was gone.

Hermione sighed happily; her husband had not died. "I'm sorry Ron! I didn't know you would choke on a just a single piece!" She cried out, wrapping her arms around his body. She pulled away to see his face bewildered.

"Choke?" He spoofed out a chuckle. "You thought I was choking?"

She raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Well, yeah... why else would you be ranting out like a maniac?"

He gave a small, lopsided grin. "I wasn't choking. But that peice of dung tasted HORRIBLE! That is my first and LAST time I am _ever_ eating spinach again!"

She sputtered, still confused. "But, you were coughing, and.. and... holding your throat."

"Yeah, because it tasted so bad! I can't even talk about how..." He shuddered. " I am _never_ having anything that disgusting slither down my throat again! God Hermione! How do you eat that stuff? You women are mental!"

Hermione stopped worrying and sent him a death glare.

"Only kidding." He offered shyly, raising his hands in the air.

She smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Well, thank you for trying it anyways." He mumbled a reply saying something about 'coming back upstream' but she ignored it, and got up; Ron directly behind.

"You do realize that I am never doing that again right, 'Mione?" He said, while helping her pick the plates up off the table.

Hermione shrugged. "You never know, there will always be first times for everything in life, you just have to go find them."

Ron shook his head. "Whoever actually looks for those are just... they aren't normal... especially if it has to do with spinach. Mental I tell you..." He finished putting away the last of the dishes and then helped himself to some more water.

She grinned at him, and they walked out of their kitchen hand in hand. He gave another small cough. A small piece of spinach flew out of his mouth and swayed unto the shining white tiled floor. _Hopefully she didn't see that_, Ron thought while ushering Hermione out of the door quickly.

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><p><em>Ending Note: Okay.. Yeah well... That was it. Yeah... Not my best work, but I tried my darndest! :D Anyways, What was I going to say? Oh yeah! I <em>was_ going to actually do like a cannon thing, where they were like standing outside and then all of the sudden this huge cannon ball comes towards them and Ron is all "What is that?" and... yeah... but.. I just thought... yeah. Hopefully "First Time" didn't mean anything that didn't mean what I thought it meant, because that would be awkward. Alright! Im going to get this beta readed and then uploaded tomorrow! (Well by the time you read this it will already be uploaded and beta readed so this is pointless) **PEACE OFF!** :D_

**NOVEMBER TWIN EXCHANGE!**

**Fred Never died, George wears blue boxers!**

**#SPACEtour (get excited people!)**

**REVIEW if you want too!**


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